


Twin High Maintenance Machines

by loonyBibliophile



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Childhood Friends, F/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Slow Burn, all my faves in one place basically, will contain mentions of child abuse and instances of milder verbal child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonyBibliophile/pseuds/loonyBibliophile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma Simmons is eight years old and she really does not want to be where she is. Her mother and father stand on either side of her, forced smiles plastered on their faces as they usher her through the door and into the next room of the building.</p><p>Leopold Fitz also does not want to be at the Friendly Faces Playgroup, but his mum had asked him nicely and told him it would help him, and also he knew she needed something to do with him once in awhile so she could run errands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Locking Eyes, Holding Hands

Jemma Simmons is eight years old and she really does not want to be where she is. Her mother and father stand on either side of her, forced smiles plastered on their faces as they usher her through the door and into the next room of the building. There’s a painted sign next to the door that reads ‘Friendly Faces Playgroup!’ in bright letters. She starts to make a face but then her mother frowns and pinches her arm, and Jemma sighs and pastes on a smile, letting herself be shoved into the room. There are a couple of other kids there already, standing around awkwardly. Some of their parents are still there, some have already left. Jemma’s parents leave her standing silently by a wall and walk over to talk quietly to the woman Jemma knows is in charge. She remembers her from when her parents first brought her here, explaining what it was and why they wanted her to go. 

She thinks the whole thing is a bit silly though, her parents acting as if it’s her fault none of the kids at school like her. It’s certainly not her fault how smart she is scares them or that she has trouble controlling the pitch of her voice or that she’s so shy. They’re all so much older and bigger than her, she doesn’t think it’s a bad thing that maybe they make her a little nervous. Sure, a few friends would be nice, but she does okay on her own. The teachers like her, and she can just spend breaks and lunches reading or working on extra homework. Lost in her thoughts, Jemma doesn’t notice her mother kneeling in front of her, and she starts backwards when she does. Her mother grips her shoulders and looks at her harshly. 

“Be good, Jemma Beatrice.” her mother’s voice is stiff and serious. “Remember what I told you. Smile, but not too much, and don’t talk too loud or too much. Be friendly!” 

With a stiff nod from her father, her parents are gone. 

Leopold Fitz also does not want to be at the Friendly Faces Playgroup, but his mum had asked him nicely and told him it would help him, and also he knew she needed something to do with him once in awhile so she could run errands. So he let her bring him to the group, and he stood slightly behind her as she waited for the hostess to finish talking to a very stern looking couple. He watched the couple as his mum talked to the woman. They had walked over to a very small little girl in a neat skirt and white knee socks. She didn’t look very happy. His mum was done talking to the woman and knelt down in front of him. 

“You’ll be alright, love?” she asked softly.

“Yes, mum. I’ll be fine.” he put on a brave face and smiled, trying not to fidget too much. His mother smiled and kissed his forehead, then scrubbed the pink smudge it left off. He made a face and she laughed. 

“See you in a few hours, Leo darling.” she said with a smile, and patted his head before heading over to the door. 

“Bye mum.” He stared at the floor after she left.  
Leo wasn’t overly fond of other people. He liked his mum, and he liked his dog Frodo, and he liked a few of his school teachers, but that was it. The kids at school were older than him and they were mean. He was eight but his classmates were ten, but it didn’t matter because he knew he was smarter than them anyway. Plus, they all knew about his da, and what had happened and why he’d gone back to Scotland, and he hated the way kids sneered at him and the way grown ups looked at him with pity. He didn’t need any of them anyway. 

He’s snapped out of his train of thought by the woman, who calls herself Miss Meredith, calling them to the center of the room. He shuffles forward and watches the little girl from earlier fidget with her fingers as she does the same. 

Jemma takes a deep breath and walks forward, because if she knows how to do anything, it’s follow instructions. So she does as Miss Meredith says and moves to the middle of the bright room, sitting down. She sits on her knees, they way her mother always tells her to, because it’s more ladylike, even though it hurts her legs a little. 

“Okay, kids. What we’re going to do is turn to the person on our left, go off somewhere in the room, and get to know each other! Find out their name, how old they are, what they do for fun, whatever you want to know! Then, we’ll come back to the circle, and tell everyone else what we learned about them, so we can all learn things about each other! Then we’ll go from there with our next activity! Okay? Okay!” she grinned broadly and waved her hands in a ‘go at it’ gesture. 

Jemma turned to her left and saw a boy about her age with curly brown hair. She smiled shyly and waved. 

“Hello.” she said carefully, trying not to be too loud. 

“Hello.” Leo said in response, looking mildly frightened. When he spoke, Jemma beamed. 

“You’re Scottish! I’m from the UK too!” her voice echoed in the room and she winced visibly, shrinking in on herself “Sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.” 

“I don’t mind. I’m Leo.” 

“I’m Jemma.” she smiled shyly, her voice a careful whisper. 

“How old are you? I’m eight, but I’m in fifth grade.” he puffs his chest out slightly, smiling brightly. 

“Me too! To both!” her voice goes up again but she catches herself halfway, biting her lip and lowering her volume. “I like science and microscopes and reading, and I have a cat named Crookshanks, and I’m very good at climbing trees but mother and father don’t like that and get mad at me, so I don’t do it very much.” 

“I like Legos, and building things, and science too I guess but not the messy kind, and reading too, I have a dog named Frodo and we used to have a cat named Bilbo but he was my da’s so we don’t have him anymore. Climbing trees sounds dangerous. I’m afraid of heights.” 

“What’s your favorite book? I’m sorry about your cat. Why did you move to America? And it’s okay to be afraid of heights, I’m afraid of the dark. Father said I was too old for my night light though, so he took it away.” Her voice is louder now, but not a shout, though she is talking awfully fast. 

“That’s too hard. I have a lot of favorite books. Harry Potter is good, and so is Lord of the Rings, I also really like His Dark Materials, and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. It’s okay I liked him but he was grumpy and liked da best anyway. We moved to America when I was a baby because of da’s work. I don’t know why we stayed. I think maybe mum couldn’t afford to move.” He isn’t sure why he’s telling her this. Any of it, really. Maybe it’s the accent that’s almost like his own, or maybe it’s how the way her parents talked to her unsettled something in his stomach. He keeps talking either way. “That wasn’t very nice of your father.” 

“I love Harry Potter! Hermione is my favorite. Lord of the Rings is good too, I’m reading His Dark Materials right now, actually. I haven’t read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. I also really like myths and fairy tales, I’ve a big book of myths from all around the world, and one for fairy tales as well.” she adds the last part shyly, afraid that it will make her sound silly, or childish. “We moved here for work too. Father owns some kind of business, I’m not sure what he does really. He isn’t home very much.” she shrugs. “It’s okay. Father says he doesn’t have to be nice because he’s in charge.” 

Leo and Jemma spend the rest of the allotted time talking loudly in the corner and finding more and more things they have in common. Miss Meredith makes slow circles around the room and smiles when she sees them speaking animatedly to each other. They fall back into the circle when called, holding hands tightly. Jemma had reached for his to guide him back to the group and he’d let her, and then just hadn’t let go. The rest of the day is spent on a couple of weird group games neither of them cares about very much, but they manage to stay on the same team for each one, so it’s okay. 

Jemma frowns when she looks at the clock and sees that it’s almost time to leave. She can see her parents’ car through the window, and she knows they’re sitting inside, waiting for it to be exactly one o’clock before they come in to get her, because that’s the proper thing to do. She may not have wanted to come here, but now she doesn’t want to go home. 

“Jemma.” she turns at Leo’s voice and smiles. 

“Yes?”

“Do you live in town? I didn’t ask before.”

“Mhm! Well, sort of!”

“Where do you go to school then?”

“Oh. Um.” her face falls and she fidgets with her skirt hem. “Hamilton Preparatory Academy.” she makes a face, clearly embarrassed. She knew her parents insisted the private school was the best possible place for her, but whenever normal kids found out, she could read the sneers of ‘stuffy rich girl’ on their faces. Leo nods sagely, as if this makes sense. 

“Your parents did look very upright. I go there too actually.” he blushes. “Scholarship student.” 

“Wait, really?” she lights up suddenly. “That’s brilliant! I don’t know how I’ve never met you before!”

“I just started there. See, I lived in America most of my life, but we just moved to this town so.” he shrugged. 

“Leo! This means we can hang out all the time!” she’s grinning and bouncing and practically shouting, and when she realizes how loud she’s being she shrinks, lowering her shoulders with her voice. “If you want to, I mean, that is.” 

“I definitely do.” he smiles shyly. 

“Oh. Well. Good then.” she returns the expression, equally soft and shy. 

“Jemma Beatrice Simmons! Was that shouting I heard? What did I tell you?” her mother’s voice admonished, walking slightly behind her father through the door. 

“Sorry mother.” she says quietly. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“You never mean to, that’s your problem, Jemma. Pay more attention.” her father scolds. Leo frowns at them from behind Jemma, but Jemma just nods solemnly. 

“Did you have fun?” her mother asks. 

“Yes, mother.” 

“Good. Now let’s get you home. Your father and I have a dinner to get ready for.”

She waved sadly to Leo on the way out of the building. He returned it, frowning slightly until his own mother appeared moments later. Jemma watched quietly from the car as they pulled out and Leo’s mum lead him out to her car, smiling broadly and kissing him on the forehead once. She feels a little something like envy, and looks up at her own parents, staring silently at the road ahead as they pull out of the lot and head towards home. In one tightly clenched fist is a piece of paper with messy scrawl on it reading ‘Leopold Fitz’, with a phone number on it. She traces the numbers and letters with her fingers and smiles.


	2. You keeping care of me, keeping watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t think your parents like me very much.” Leo says quietly, curled up on his bed. It’s been a few months since he met Jemma in the ridiculous social skills group for children. Jemma shrugs. 
> 
> “My parents don’t like anybody very much.” she says in a voice much to matter of fact for someone so small. She turns to look at Leo and sees him frowning, so she puts down her copy of Frankenstein and climbs up on his bed, mussing the already messy spaceship print sheets even further. She puts her hands on Leo’s face “Plus, I like you just fine, so don’t worry about my parents.” Leo nods and smiles.

“I don’t think your parents like me very much.” Leo says quietly, curled up on his bed. It’s been a few months since he met Jemma in the ridiculous social skills group for children. Jemma shrugs. 

“My parents don’t like anybody very much.” she says in a voice much to matter of fact for someone so small. She turns to look at Leo and sees him frowning, so she puts down her copy of Frankenstein and climbs up on his bed, mussing the already messy spaceship print sheets even further. She puts her hands on Leo’s face “Plus, I like you just fine, so don’t worry about my parents.” Leo nods and smiles. 

He doesn’t especially like being touched, even by his mum most days, but with Jemma it’s okay. Which is a good thing, because she’s quickly become quite tactile. She tugs him around by the hand or wrist and likes to wipe smudges off his face or smooth his hair and sometimes when she gets especially fidgety she sits really close to him or plays with his hands. He doesn’t mind, it seems to help her calm down. 

“I don’t think I like your parents very much either.” 

“They just want what’s best for me.” Jemma says with a curt nod, but she doesn’t especially sound like she believes it. She goes quiet then, sitting cross legged and fussing with her hair. When she lets out a huff of frustration, Leo looks up from The Hobbit. 

“What’s the matter, Jem?”

“My hair keeps getting in the way. I wish mother would let me cut it. She says it’s not ladylike to have short hair.” 

“You have pretty hair. D’you want me to help?” he sits up a little. 

“I just can’t braid it by myself yet.” Jemma frowns. 

“I know how to braid.” Leo’s voice is enthusiastic. “Let me help.” 

“You do? Alright then.” she smiles warmly and scoots in front of him, sitting cross legged between his knees. She pulls a pink rubber band from around her wrist and passes it back to him. He puts it around his own and leans over, digging in his drawer until he finds a comb. He runs his fingers through her hair a few times, curiously. It’s unbearably soft and smells like almonds. Then he takes the comb to it, smiling as he sees Jemma’s shoulders slump slightly and she hums in relaxtion. 

“That feels nice.” 

“My mum braids her hair every night before bed. Last year she broke her arm an’ I had to learn to help her.” 

Jemma leans back as Leo combs her hair carefully, then runs his fingers through it again before he starts to braid it neatly. He leaves it a little loose, which she appreciates. Her mother always does it so tightly, and it pulls and makes her head and scalp ache. She leans back against him when he finishes braiding, feeling loose limbed and vaguely sleepy from the attention. 

“Do you really think my hair is pretty?” 

“A’ course. It’s shiny and wavy and soft.” 

“Thanks, Leo.” 

“Welcome, Jem.” 

“Can I stay here tonight?” she asks after a long lull in conversation. She tilts her head back and her nose brushes Fitz’s chin. It wouldn’t be the first time. At first, Jemma’s parents hadn’t been too keen on her having sleepovers with a boy, but when Jemma quietly and politely pointed out she was merely doing what they asked and making friends, they couldn’t really say no, but she could tell they didn’t like it. It was clear in the pinch of her mother’s lips and the squint of her father’s cool grey eyes. She had a feeling Fitz was right though, some of it was Fitz and not just that he was a boy. But they let her, and that was all that mattered. 

“I should ask mum but I don’t see why not.” 

“I love your mum.” Jemma said softly, her voice almost dreamy. Really, she just generally preferred Fitz’s home to her own. It was smaller, sure, and he didn’t have as many bookcases or toys, but it was warmer. And Fitz’s mum, who let Jemma call her Fiona, was delightful. She was doting and sweet and an amazing cook and always made sure Jemma felt safe and comfortable at their house. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t love and appreciate her parents. She knew that she had it much better than many people, and her parents essentially gave her whatever she wanted or needed. She knew Fitz thought they could be a bit mean, but she didn’t think they did it on purpose. They were strict and knew what was best for her, and even if she didn’t agree it was her duty to play along and follow orders. 

“Muuuuum!” Leo called out, not wanting to disturb Jemma by getting up. 

“Yes dear?”

“If her parents say yes, could Jemma stay the night?”

“Of course love. What do the two of you want for dinner? A nice stew maybe?”

“That sounds great mum.” “That would be lovely, Fiona.” 

“Alright, I’ll get started then! Come on into the living room, Jemma, and be a love and give your folks a call.” 

Pulling herself upright, Jemma slipped off the bed and walked out into the main part of the small house. Fiona smiled when she emerged. 

“Hello dear. Did Leo braid your hair for you? He’s quite good isn’t he?”

“Yes, he did.” Jemma smiled warmly. “It kept falling in my face while I was reading and I can’t do it myself yet.” 

“It can be a bit tricky.” Fiona nodded sagely before gesturing at the phone, and then heading into the fridge to get started on dinner. Jemma slid onto a stool by the counter and dialed her home number. 

“Simmons residence, this is Priscilla speaking.”

“Hi mother, it’s Jemma.” 

“Oh, hello Jemma. Do you need to be picked up early?”

“No, I was hoping you might let me stay the night here tonight? It’s Friday after all, and I’m two weeks ahead in my school work and Fiona said it was alright.” 

“It’s rude to call adults by their first name, Jemma Beatrice.” 

“She told me it was alright to call her that.” 

“It’s still rude, and I’d prefer you didn’t. But I suppose you can stay the night. Your father and I were going to go out anyway, this just means we don’t have to leave you unattended or try to find a sitter.”

“Thank you, mother. Have a good night with father.” 

“Yes, yes. Will do. Call me tomorrow when you need to come home. Good bye, Jemma.” the phone clicked off after that. 

“She said it was fine.” Jemma said, hopping off the stool. 

“Oh good! I’m glad, dear. Why don’t you get Leopold and the two of you can come out here and watch a movie before dinner and then help me make something for dessert?”

“Okay!” she said brightly, grinning and moving quickly to retrieve Fitz from his room. 

The two gathered up Fitz’s spare bedding and made themselves a cozy nest on the small sofa, and bickered good naturedly over whether to watch Mulan or Mighty Joe Young, and after a very intense match of rock paper scissors, Mulan gets put in the DVD player. Fiona smiles to herself as she chops onions and stirs a pot of bubbling broth and meat, because she can hear two small voices singing “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” in unison from the living room. She took a fast liking to the nervous but friendly little girl Leo had met at the playgroup, but a seed of worry for the girl found it’s way into her chest whenever her parents were involved. Fiona has made herself promise to keep an eye on things, but not pry or overreact based on her own experiences. However, she was always glad when Jemma chose to spend the lion’s share of her weekends at the Fitz house. 

When the movie was over, the pair shuffled into the kitchen, and Leo kept trying to sneak spoonfuls of the still bubbling stew while they helped Fiona put a pan of brownies in the oven. Jemma and Leo each get to lick one of the beaters used to whip the batter, and they sit on the counter holding hands and laughing as they do the job happily, and Jemma smears batter on her nose. 

After dinner and dessert, which are both delicious, Leo and Jemma curl back up and watch another movie, Mighty Joe Young this time. By the time it’s over, Jemma is already half asleep, and they tug all the blankets back into Leo’s room, where they promptly curl up in his bed and fall asleep, tangled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter! I'm hoping to keep up with almost daily updates for the rest of this fic, but I will have school and then surgery soon so if there are gaps, please forgive me! I'm not sure how long this will be but probably pretty long! Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!


	3. you try to speak but the buzz is too loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want to do for your birthday, Jemma?” her mother asked one morning, about a month before her tenth birthday. “Your father and I were thinking a big party with all the neighborhood kids. A nice party, of course. Tasteful.” 
> 
> “But mother, none of the neighborhood kids like me. That wouldn’t be very much fun for them or for me.” 
> 
> “Jemma Beatrice! That was very rude. Your father and I are offering to do something for you, be polite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some very minor stuff about child abuse in here, mentions, nothing graphic. Just be aware loves, I wouldn't want to upset anyone!

“What do you want to do for your birthday, Jemma?” her mother asked one morning, about a month before her tenth birthday. “Your father and I were thinking a big party with all the neighborhood kids. A nice party, of course. Tasteful.” 

“But mother, none of the neighborhood kids like me. That wouldn’t be very much fun for them or for me.” 

“Jemma Beatrice! That was very rude. Your father and I are offering to do something for you, be polite.” Jemma bites back a sigh and formulates her next sentence carefully. 

“I appreciate the offer, mother, but I don’t think my tenth birthday requires any large productions. I would much prefer, if it was acceptable to both you and father, to just spend the day with Leo.” she took a deep breath “Maybe a day at the zoo? I know you don’t like it but F- Mrs. Fitz could accompany us if you didn’t wish to.”

Mrs. Simmons pursed her lips. Jemma held her breath hopefully. She knew her mother was steadfastly wishing Jemma would outgrow her ‘strange friendship’ with Leo, whom her father and mother always referred to as ‘that boy’ and were always rambling on about how ‘this was not what they intended to happen when they had Jemma join that playgroup for social skill building’ and then frowning at her pointedly. Which is why mostly she and Leo spent time at Leo’s house. She didn’t want to make him put up with her parents’ vague disapproval buried behind layers of ‘proper behavior’. 

“I don’t know about that.” 

“Please, mother? I’ve finished all my extra credit work for the next month and a half, I’m getting excellent marks in all my courses, even the accelerated ones, my room is immaculate. I just want to spend my tenth birthday at the zoo with Leo. You won’t even have to go.”

“Fine. I’ll tell your father. But be on your best behavior for the next month, Jemma.” 

“Thank you, mother! And I will be, I promise. May I go to my room now?”

“Yes. I have work to do. I don’t need you under my feet distracting me.” her mother waved her away and Jemma used her considerable self control to keep from sprinting to her upstairs bedroom to call Leo. 

“Hullo?” Fiona picked up the phone. 

“Oh, hello Fiona! It’s Jemma.”

“Oh, hello love. Want me to fetch Leopold for you?”

“No, actually, or… not yet! I spoke to my mother today and she approved the plan you and Leo helped me come up with for my birthday. Also, I know we have plans in a few days for Leo’s birthday, and I was wondering if um… Would you let me help with the cake? I think I’d like to learn to bake, but mother won’t let the cook help me, she says it’s too messy.” 

“Well, I’m glad your mum said yes to the zoo plan, I know you and little Leo were awfully chuffed about that. And of course dear! Just come over a bit earlier this weekend, say nine am? I know you’re an early riser.”

“Yes! I can do that.”

“And then you can surprise Leopold too, he won’t be up yet, and we just won’t tell him you’re coming early, shall we?” Jemma could hear a twinkle in the older woman’s eyes and she smiled broadly. 

“That sounds wonderful! Thank you so much, Fiona.”

“Of course, dear. Anything for family. You know that’s what you are to us, right love?”

“Yes… I know…. Thank you.” Jemma smiled, watery and quiet, and fought back tears. 

“I’ll go get Leo now.” Fiona said softly, then put the phone down to call her son into the room. 

“Jemma!” he said brightly as soon as he lifted the receiver. 

“Hi, Leo.” her voice was still shy and quiet from fighting off tears. 

“Are y’alright, Jem?” he asked, his voice suddenly low and worried. 

“Yes, brilliant actually. Mother said I could go to the zoo with you and your mum for my birthday! I just have to be on my best behavior for the next month.” 

“When are you not on your best behavior?”

“When I shout or make too much of a mess with my work of course. Or if I behave in an unladylike manner my father doesn’t approve of.” her tone of voice is exact and well practiced and Leo isn’t sure why, but something about it makes him feel sick to his stomach. Somewhere in the back of his mind the words ‘Man up, kid’ echo loudly, accompanied by the ghost of a slap on the back just a little to hard and sudden to be playful. 

“Well I’m glad she said yes. Are you still coming over Saturday?”

“Leo! Of course I am! I wouldn’t miss your birthday for the world!” she admonished playfully, her voice warm. 

“Oh. Good. Well, I should get back to my homework, and you should probably get off the phone before your parents get shirty about you talking to me.” 

“They’ll come to like you eventually, Leo, I promise. After all, I like you just fine.” 

“If you say so, Jemma. See you at school?”

“Yep! Bye, Leo.” 

“Bye, Jem.” he hung up the phone with a smile and eased himself up onto the countertop, watching his mom dice something on the pull out cutting board. “Mum?”

“Yes, love?”

“I’m worried about Jemma.” he said carefully, fidgeting his hands in his lap and staring off into space. Fiona made a thoughtful noise and put her knife down, wiping her hands on a dish towel before turning to face her son. 

“Why’s that dear?”

“Well, they’re very strict with her, and I know that’s not… a bad thing but... “ he scrunched his face up in thought. “The way she talks about what they expect of her and how she behaves makes me worried that if… if something was wrong she wouldn’t think it was? She always says she needs to do as they say because they know what’s best even if she doesn’t agree and I know she’s strong and smart but… She believes them so much I’m afraid if something like, like-” he clenched his fists and tried to force out the words, until Fiona put a gentle hand on his shoulder, careful to make a show of moving so she wouldn’t startle her son. 

“Like you da? Is that what you’re trying to say?” her voice was soft and gentle, and Leo swallowed hard before nodding stiffly. 

“Oh, Leo darling.” Fiona’s face fell slightly, mingled with just the slightest trace of guilt. She thought a moment before easing herself onto the countertop beside him, putting one arm around him carefully. “I don’t want to lie to you. So I’m not going to. I don’t think you’re wrong to worry about our little Jemma. But I don’t think her parents are physically hurting her. If they were, I think she’s bright enough to know that’s wrong, and she would tell us.”

“Just because they don’t hit her doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting her.” Leo mumbles, his voice quiet but sure. 

“You’re very right, love. But, there’s only so much you can do for someone unless they tell you something is wrong. Jemma is smart and strong, and she has you to lean on and look after her, same as she looks after you. And if you ever see them mistreat her, physically or otherwise, tell me first, and we’ll talk to her about it, alright darling?”

“Alright.” he nodded stiffly and scrubbed violently at tears he refused to let fall, and his mother let out a quiet sigh, hugging him into a side. 

“You’re such a brave little boy, Leo. I’m so sorry about everything that happened.” 

“It’s alright, mum. It wasn’t your fault. It was da’s. Just da’s.” Leo replied fiercely, staring down at the floor. 

“Life’s not just black and white, my love. Now come along, help your old mum finish dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter today because I am really very fond of this one! I hope no one took issue with Fitz and his mum's discussion of what to do, I tried to handle it as delicately as I can, being a survivor myself. As always, feedback is much appreciated! <3


	4. give me your hand, give me everything you've got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma has decided Leo’s tenth birthday party is a dressy occasion, but she also doesn’t want to ruin her nice dresses baking. So she packs her party outfit in a backpack. If this happens to provide a perfect cover for also packing a change of clothes and pajamas and other supplies so later she can call and ask to stay the night, well, all the better for it.

Jemma has decided Leo’s tenth birthday party is a dressy occasion, but she also doesn’t want to ruin her nice dresses baking. So she packs her party outfit in a backpack. If this happens to provide a perfect cover for also packing a change of clothes and pajamas and other supplies so later she can call and ask to stay the night, well, all the better for it. She knew sooner or later they’d be too old for her mother and father to let them have sleepovers, so she wanted to make sure they had plenty before then. In addition to her backpack, she also has a carefully wrapped present, with a card taped on and a ribbon wrapped around both of them. Her father does not speak to her as he drives her over to the house, nor does he say anything as she clambers out of the car, until she starts to rush up the driveway. 

“Jemma Beatrice! Stop running this instant. It’s not ladylike and you’ll tear your clothes.” his voice booms. Jemma skids to a half immediately and stands still until she hears the wheels of the car peel away, then she resumes her journey up the steps of the house, entering quietly without knocking. She can see Fiona in the kitchen, wrist deep in two different bowls of batter, but she turns and grins when she hears the door. 

“Jemma love! Hello dear. Put your things down on come in and give me a hand.” 

“Okay!” she said brightly, dropping her backpack and depositing the box carefully on the dining room table. Stepping into the kitchen, she saw Fiona has already pulled a step stool up, to help Jemma reach the counter properly. She smiled. “What to I do first?”

“How about you add some chocolate chips and stir up this pancake batter? I figured since you’re here early, we might as well surprise Leo with breakfast.” 

“I can do that.” 

The morning passed jovially, Jemma helping get a cake in the oven and get pancakes in the stove, even managing to make a few simple shapes in the batter with Fiona’s help. She mixed a batch of frosting while Fiona set to work on bacon and eggs. By the time breakfast was done and on plates and trays, the cake was cooling on the counter and the frosting was setting up in the fridge. 

“Alright now, dear. Let’s go wake up our birthday boy with as loud of a birthday song as we can manage.” Fiona smiled mischievously and carried two of the three trays, leaving Jemma to hold Leo’s carefully. They burst into the room with a rousing and loud rendition of Happy Birthday, and Leo awoke very grumpily, until he smelled food and picked Jemma’s voice out of the cacophony. 

“Jemma!” he grinned brightly and sat up “And pancakes!” he added on almost as an afterthought. “Wow, thanks guys!”

“Happy birthday, my sweet boy.” Fiona said with a smile. 

“Yes, happy birthday, Leo!” 

“What’re you doing here so early?” he asked around a mouthful of pancake. 

“I came over early to help your mum and surprise you.” 

“You’re the best best friend ever.” he said enthusiastically, before taking a bite of bacon. Jemma glowed happily and sat herself neatly on the edge of his bed, tucking into her own meal. Fiona sat at Leo’s desk, watching quietly with a smile on her face as she watched the two kids laugh and bicker playfully while they ate. 

“So what are we doing today, Leo?” Jemma grinned and took a bite of pancake, before leaning over her food to swipe a spot of whipped cream off Leo’s cheek. He pulled a face at her, but it dissolved into a grin almost immediately. 

“Mum’s taking us to the aerospace museum a few towns over.” Leo babbled excitedly through a mouthful of pancake and whipped cream. “And we’re going to my favorite restaurant for lunch and coming back here for dessert.” 

“Oh that sounds wonderful!” Jemma smiled and looked over at Fiona, who simply grinned in response. 

“I’m sure you two kids will have fun.”

“I can’t believe you’re older than me again.” Jemma stuck out her tongue

“I’m always older than you. Technically.” 

“You know what I mean.”

“You’re just jealous. Stop bein’ so proper and eat faster so we can go!” 

“Is that a challenge?”

“Please. You couldn’t eat as fast as me if you tried.” Leo scoffed. 

Jemma, never one to be proved wrong, shoved an entire pancake in her mouth. Leo’s mouth falls open in shock, followed by a dopey smile, and it’s the first time he ever falls a little bit in love with Jemma Simmons. 

“Now now kids, don’t eat too fast, you’ll make yourselves sick. I’m going to go clean up the kitchen, get dressed and come into the living room when you’re ready to go.” Fiona smiles adoringly at the two kids sitting on the bed, and they look up and nod, returning to their meals in earnest. While Fiona is washing dishes, Jemma darts out of the room to retrieve her backpack, and a few minutes later both children emerge. Leo looks more or less like he always does, and Jemma has on a dark blue dress and knee socks. Under the socks, the edges of bright bandaids covering scraped knees stick out. Leo, currently the slightly taller of the two, leans up and puts all their dishes carefully on the counter, and then walks into the living room, content to wait until his mum is ready to leave and pass the time trying to wheedle Jemma into revealing what his birthday gift was. 

The car ride to the museum isn’t too long, and Leo and Jemma spend it mostly jittering in their seats and talking excitably about space travel. Well, Leo talks about space travel, Jemma listens and talks about the chemistry of space. When they pull into the parking lot, Fiona lets them run ahead, Leo dragging Jemma by her wrist. Once through the doors, Leo’s given a big badge announcing it’s his birthday and Jemma clutches his hand excitedly. For most of the afternoon, Fiona hangs back just behind them, letting them explore at their own pace. Leo talks at length about different historical models of planes and rockets, and it warms Fiona’s heart to see Jemma actively listening and staring at him with abject interest in what he’s saying. All in all, it takes them three hours to see the whole museum, with an extra forty five minutes spent in the gift shop. After much debate, Leo gets a model plane to build, and Jemma gets a tiny glass bottle filled with real asteroid dust. 

Lunch is delightful. The staff sings happy birthday, and Leo and Jemma eat far too much, and drink too much soda. They still manage to fall asleep in the backseat of the car though, and when Fiona sees them in the rearview mirror, hands clasped and both scooted halfway into the middle seat of the car and straining their seatbelts to lean on each other, she smiles and breathes a sigh of relief. 

Back in the living room, Leo is instructed to shut his eyes while the cake is placed before him. There’s a rocketship iced onto it, and ten blue candles lit. Jemma and Fiona sing as loudly as they can, making far more noise than two people should be able to. When Leo scrunches his eyes and blows out the candle, he wishes to never, ever lose Jemma Simmons. 

“Now you can open your present, Leo!” Jemma says brightly, taking a bite of her cake and nudging the box towards him. “But read the card first!” 

“I know, I know.” he grins and tugs the envelope off, opening it as carefully as he can manage. The card is handmade, and the front has a silly colored pencil doodle of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger and the words ‘Happy Birthday!’ in big blue letters. Jemma’s handwriting is unsettlingly neat, but the note when he opens it makes him smile. 

Leo,   
Happy birthday. I’m so glad to spend another year with you!   
Your best friend,   
Jem

“Thanks, Jem.” he grins and reaches over to hug her, and she returns it tightly. 

“Now open it!” she beamed and shoved his shoulders playfully, watching with eager eyes as he tore the paper off and opened the box. Inside it, nestled in blue tissue paper, was a stuffed monkey from Build a Bear, dressed in a little space suit. Leo grinned as he pulled it out. 

“Jem, this is brilliant” 

“Squeeze his paw.” 

“Alright?” Leo made a face, but pressed down on the monkey’s hand. Jemma’s voice came out of a speaker somewhere saying You’re my best friend in her usual soft voice. Leo grinned again. “I love it.” 

“I’m glad. He’s called Logie Baird, after John Logie Baird, and also because it rhymes with ‘Yogi Bear’” Jemma smiled bashfully, and Leo leaned over to crush her in another hug. 

A few more presents and one subtly pleading phone call home later, Leo and Jemma were buried in a nest of blankets on the couch, settled in to watch a movie in their pajamas after a dinner of Scotch pies, which were Leo’s favorite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name of Leo's bear is a member of the Scottish scientists hall of fame, said to have "Used a coffin lid and biscuit tin to create his first television" which seemed like something Fitz would find humorous. Hope you liked the chapter!


	5. i think i'll stay here till i feel whole again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I still think you should have let your mother plan your party.” Jemma’s father says sternly, looking down at his daughter’s outfit choice for the day with distaste. She frowns and tugs at her shorts self consciously, telling herself silently that they’re really the only rational choice for a day at the zoo, after all it’s quite warm today, and her parents would be even more cross if she wore nice clothes and ruined them at the dusty zoo.

“I still think you should have let your mother plan your party.” Jemma’s father says sternly, looking down at his daughter’s outfit choice for the day with distaste. She frowns and tugs at her shorts self consciously, telling herself silently that they’re really the only rational choice for a day at the zoo, after all it’s quite warm today, and her parents would be even more cross if she wore nice clothes and ruined them at the dusty zoo. 

“Sorry father.” 

“And I think you’re approaching your last year of sleepovers with that boy. You’re too old for that to be proper.”

“He’s got a name, father. Leo. His name is Leo.” she bites her tongue immediately and stares down at the toes of her sneakers. 

“Behave yourself, Jemma Beatrice, or you will be coming home for dinner with your mother and I instead of having fun with your friend.” 

“Yes, father.” 

“Try not to be too loud or bother any adults too much. Not everyone will be as tolerant of your outbursts as that Fitz woman.”

“Isn’t mother going to come say goodbye and wish me a happy birthday?”

“Your mother is spending the day in bed. We had a late night with some people from my office.” 

“Oh.” 

“Your ride appears to be here. Good bye, Jemma.” 

“Good bye, father. Thank you.” Jemma nodded curtly and left slowly, sure not to move too fast or run. She grinned as she reached up to open the door to Fiona’s car, but Leo beat her to it, pushing the door open from the inside and beaming at her, waving exuberantly. Jemma clapped delightedly when she realized the car was filled with balloons. 

“Fiona! You shouldn’t have!” she fretted loudly as she climbed into the vehicle, scooting into the middle seat to sit next to Leo. 

“Oh, but I did, love! Double digits are a big deal. And you were so kind to help me surprise little Leopold, we simply had t’do the same for you, dearie.” Fiona smiled kindly and turned on the radio as she pulled out of the drive. 

“Well it’s lovely. Thank you so much.” Jemma’s smile was watery, and Leo reached over and squeezed her fingers. 

“Happy birthday, Jem.” he smiled softly. 

Once at the zoo, the staff presented Jemma with a choice in both birthday pins and paper birthday crowns. She chose a large blue pin with a shark on it and ‘IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!’ in white lettering, and a gold paper crown. She grinned as she pulled it on, arranging her wavy hair underneath it. 

“How’s it look?” she giggled, looking over at Leo and Fiona. 

“Simply darling.” Fiona smiled. 

“Suits you.” Leo said with a shrug, and Jemma blushed. 

“Where to first, love?” Fiona asked, presenting Jemma with a map of the zoo. She took it and examined it carefully, mentally sorting the monkey exhibit to be one of the last things they did so Leo wouldn’t have to rush, as well as the aquarium part of the zoo. Jemma wanted to spend as much time looking at fish as possible. 

“Reptiles?” she offered, looking up from the map. 

“Reptiles it is. Come along, children.” 

Leo grinned and grabbed Jemma’s hand, letting her guide them on a path through the zoo. They went to reptile house, then spent a while looking at insects, and Leo did his best to not look to grossed out while Jemma stood on tip toes to ooh and ahh at various species of tropical bugs. After insects came the big cats, which both children were equally invested in. Jemma babbled happily about cheetahs, listing off facts about how they usually cohabitated with dogs to keep them calm. They were her favorite after lions, who were her all time favorite big cats because it was the lionesses who were in charge at the end of the day. After that was a break for lunch and ice cream with a candle stuck in by the cafe, much to Jemma’s delight, and they made their way through the rest of the zoo. Second to last they went through the monkey exhibit, and Leo took over babbling duties, telling stories about all the different species, and the difference between old and new world monkeys. At one point, Jemma snuck away to use her pocket money to go to the exhibit specific gift shop, and returned to a puzzled Leo and a grinning Fiona, and thrust a picture book of the exhibit and a stuffed capuchin into Leo’s hands. 

“But it’s your birthday!” Leo protested, waving his hands around. Jemma just smiled. 

“Yes, it’s my birthday and I can do what I want.” 

“Fine, but mum gave me pocket money too and I’m buying you something at the aquarium. It’s your birthday, you can hardly stop me from buying something for you on your birthday.” he hooked his elbow through hers and the lighthearted bickering continued as the reached the end of the exhibit and turned to move towards the aquarium. 

“Oh, wow.” Jemma breathed out as they entered the dim, black lit room. There were blue water tanks all around them, fish swimming in slow circles from window to window. Jemma pressed her hands to the glass, grinning as she watched them. She wandered through the system of windows and tunnels slowly, tugging Leo by the wrist. Then she came to the octopus. Which was currently being fed by its trainer, and moving about its tank excitedly. Jemma’s eyes grew wide and she grinned raptly as she watched it move. 

“Look at it Leo! Isn’t amazing?”

“Bit creepy if you ask me.” 

“Octopi are some of the smartest creatures in the ocean. There have been cases of them escaping their tanks and entering other fish’s enclosures to find food, and getting back into their own tanks again after eating their fill. They’re amazing.” 

They stood at the octopus tank until it had finished eating and gone into hiding to digest. Leo made Jemma halt in the gift shop on the way out, standing at the fake kelp covered exit arch with her eyes closed, and then presenting her with a blue stuffed octopus and an ocean themed snowglobe. She shakes her head, then grins broadly and wraps him in a tight hug. 

“Your kids are cute. It’s nice to see siblings so close.” The cashier smiles and nods at Leo and Jemma, now watching the snowglobe in earnest. 

“Oh no, only the boy’s mine. The birthday girl’s his best friend.” 

“Oh. That’s surprising. Are her parents still in the exhibit?”

“Nope. Just the three of us. Her parents aren’t really ones to go gallivanting about the zoo.” Fiona chuckled, but there was a slight tightness to her voice. 

“Well, she seems to be having a very good birthday. I hope you guys have had a good visit.” 

“Oh, we have!” Fiona nodded and headed for the kids. “Come on, loves, let’s get ready to head home. After all, we still have dinner and cake, and presents.” she grinned as Jemma gaped at her. 

“Fiona! You’ve already done so much for me, honestly.” 

“Come now, Jemma sweetheart. You’re every bit as much part of this tiny family as Leo is, and I will not have you celebrating anything half assed.” Fiona winked as Jemma looked scandalized at the profanity, but then smiled, eyes threatening to tear up. 

“You’re both so wonderful to me.” she whispered, taking Leo’s hand again and squeezing it. He smiled shyly and shrugged. 

“We care about ye, Jem.” 

The car ride back to the Fitz house was sleepy and quiet, the day in the sun having tired the two ten year olds out. At home, a frosted cake with ten candles and an icing drawing of the Neils Bohr atomic structure on it was waiting, as well a slow cooker full of Jemma’s favorite soup, just now ready for them, warm and creamy. Fiona made a few sandwiches and sat the kids down for dinner, and brought the cake out afterwards to a rousing and loud rendition of the happy birthday song. Jemma teared up again as she blew out the candles, her eyes screwed shut as she thought I wish to always be a part of this family. 

Cake was followed by the first Harry Potter movie, and then half of the second, and then by Jemma and Leo crawling into his twin bed and mumbling sleepily about magic until they both fell asleep. It was the greatest birthday Jemma had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And chapter 5! I think the next chapter may include a time skip into teenage!Fitzsimmons, now that we've seen quite a bit of them as little young things. As always, feedback is much appreciated! I have surgery Friday, so updates may be on pause for a bit!


	6. it's going to take you people years to recover from all of the damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mum, I’m going to Jem’s house.” Leo called, tugging on a cardigan before jamming a spare sweater into his bag.  
> “To study? Or did she just need you to swing by?” Fiona frowned, stepping in from yard where she’d been watering the window boxes.  
> “Just said she wanted me to come over.”

 

“I’m very, very disappointed in these marks, Jemma Beatrice.” her father’s voice is stern, and a now fifteen year old Jemma nods, looking down at her toes from where she sits stiffly on a kitchen chair. Her back is straight, and her shoulders are back, but her nose is turned down to the floor, as she uses all her self control not to twist her hands nervously in her lap. She fails, and squirming under her father’s harsh gaze she knits her fingers together, moving to pick at her cuticles. Her father scoffs quietly and reaches down, yanking her hands apart and placing one on either side of her chair, and firmly tilting her chin up, forcing her to look at him.

 

“Sorry, father.” She keeps her voice as even as she is capable of.

 

“You should be. You are capable of better than a B, particularly in the sciences. You will do better on your next exam, or your mother and I will discuss appropriate punishment.”

 

“Yes, father.” she nods again, her neck stiff. She knows what appropriate punishment means. It means grounding, it means no internet except as needed to study, it means no phone privileges. Essentially, appropriate punishment meant no Fitz, except at school.

 

“I have a dinner to attend. Your mother and I will be back late. I expect you to be in bed or studying upon our return.”

With that, her father turned away, striding from the kitchen area to the stairs, presumably up into his room to get ready for the evening. Jemma took a halting but deep breath and stood up, clenching her hands into fists, and walked evenly up the stairs after he was gone, turning to reach her bedroom and locking the door once she slipped inside. Safely shuttered away, she let herself slide to the ground and take another breath, shoulders shaking. Trying to bite down the feeling rising in her chest up through her throat, she fumbled her phone from her pocket, typing out a quick message.

 

_Parents have a dinner tonight. Come over when they leave please? I’ll let you know._

The text is a question, but she doesn’t read the answer. She knows it will be yes. Taking another deep breath, Jemma rises to her feet and walks over to her bed, laying face down with her head buried under pillows. She stays like that, sitting in the dark, with the soft and familiar weight of pillows and blankets, and waits out the panic, waits out the tightness in her chest. She knows what it is, of course, she has access to the internet after all, but when she tried to talk to her parents about it, her father had only glared at her, and her mother had laughed outright, then mumbled something about excuses for weakness as she walked away. Jemma had never tried to bring it up again. She hears the car pull out of the driveway and barely reads the ‘Of course’ response before sending another message.

 

_They’re gone._

Jemma doesn’t bother leaving her bed, continuing to lay in the half dark of the room as the sunsets. After all, Leo can get in on his own. She’d snuck off to the local shop a few years back and copied her own house key and given it to him in secret, not too long after she finally had him over at her house the first time. It made things like this easier.

 

“Mum, I’m going to Jem’s house.” Leo called, tugging on a cardigan before jamming a spare sweater into his bag.

 

“To study? Or did she just need you to swing by?” Fiona frowned, stepping in from yard where she’d been watering the window boxes.

 

“Just said she wanted me to come over.”

 

“Give her my love, then. And remind her she’s always welcome here. Why don’t you invite her over for the weekend? She can tell her parents there’s a project you have to work, or something, or that you’re doing extra credit.”

 

“Yeah, not a bad idea. Get ‘er out of her house for awhile. Thanks mum.”

 

“Wait, Leo, do you want me to give you a ride? It’s a bit late for the bus.”

 

“That’d be great, actually. More time for me to be there before her parents get back. They usually text when they’re on the way home, so once they tell her they’re on their way, I’ll call you to come get me?”

 

“Sounds like a plan, love. Come on, let’s go.” Fiona smiled warmly at her son and ruffled his hair, causing him to roll his eyes. They loaded into the car and she drove him the moderate distance to Jemma’s house, dropping him off in the driveway. She frowned to herself as she pulled out, thinking worrisomely about the growing frequency with which Jemma called on Fitz in such a manner. Not because she begrudged the girl her son’s company when she was upset, but because she was concerned for how often she seemed to need it. Fiona had never made her suspicions about Jemma’s family a secret, but things seemed like they were getting worse.

 

Leo let himself into the Simmons family house, locking the door behind him and slipping his illicit key back in his pocket.

 

“It’s Leo, Jemma. I’m here.” he calls out, his voice clear, so she’ll know it’s not here parents arriving back unexpectedly. He steps out of his shoes, house rules, and carries them with him. He never leaves anything in the living room, in case her parents get back early and he has to sneak out. It’s troublesome, but he does it for her. He’d do anything for her. He pads up the stairs to her room and knocks on the door.

 

“It’s already unlocked. I unlocked it when you said you were coming.” her voice is muffled, and he knows how he’ll find her when he opens the door. Pulling the handle, he steps through, walking softly through the room and over to the bed and sitting on the edge. He puts his shoes on the ground and his bag on his knees, rifling through it to grab the knit sweater he’d brought.

 

“Hey Jem.” his voice is careful.

 

“Hey.” she pulls herself out from underneath the pillows, sitting up and swiping ineffectively at her eyes. “Is that for me?” she points at the sweater, and he hates how small her voice is. He nods.

 

“Y’said it helped last time. So I thought I’d bring one just t’be safe.” he hands it to her, and she tugs it on over her blouse, wrapping her arms about herself.

 

“Thank you, Leo.”

 

“So what happened this time?

 

“Father was lecturing me about my grades. I got a B plus on something in my science class. He threatened to enact ‘appropriate punishment’ if it happened again.”

 

“Was it the-”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, it was the lab.”

 

Leo frowns, not liking how Jemma’s father had handled the situation. Not, he expected, Jemma had even told him why she’d gotten a B as a opposed to her normal A. It shouldn’t have mattered, a B plus was perfectly acceptable, but she really did have a reason. The lab in question, Jemma’s partner hadn’t been the most responsible partner, and at one point had caught their sleeve on fire. They started panicking, which caused Jemma to start panicking, and she had to finish the lab in a rush by herself and then spent the rest of the period in the bathroom, trying to regulate her breathing. She could hardly be blamed for that, in Leo’s opinion.

 

“Maybe you should talk to the school therapist. She’s not allowed to talk to your folks without permission. And she’s pretty nice.”

 

“Yeah? Does she-? Do you-? Erm.”

 

“Yeah, I find it helpful.” he speaks gently, and seeing that her body language has relaxed some, he scoots closer to her and holds out one arm, letting her lean into his side. He knows she likes the contact, finds it grounding.

 

“Do you think… maybe before I make the decision, I can come sit in with you once?”

 

“Of course, Jem.”

 

“I’m sorry about… about all this.” she waves her hand around herself and her space, and Leo shakes his head firmly.

 

“Never be sorry about you, Jemma. Nothing about this is your fault. Don’t ever forget that.”  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, finally! I'm sorry this took so long! My surgery laid me up a little longer than I'd thought, and it's the midst of finals and such at college for me, so I might still be slow for a bit, but know I will not abandon this fic! Hope you enjoyed this update!


	7. let's pretend the fog has lifted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, Ms. Simmons,” the intimidating woman said calmly. “I see you found your sit in with Fitz satisfactory.”
> 
> “Um. Yes, Ms. May.”
> 
> “Please, just May.” the woman softened slightly when she saw the way Jemma squirmed in her seat, knitting and re-knitting her fingers together. “There’s no need to be nervous. I have no expectations of what this meeting will be. You can talk as much or as little as you like. When you feel comfortable, why don’t you tell me why you decided to come in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, it's this thing. I finally updated it. Sorry it's been several months, my life got sort of weird and crazy. But I'm going to try and update more often until I finish this fic. I promise, I will not abandon it. It will get done eventually! Also, general trigger warning for discussion of abuse in this chapter. None of it happens on screen, it's just talking about past abuse.

“So, Ms. Simmons,” the intimidating woman said calmly. “I see you found your sit in with Fitz satisfactory.”

“Um. Yes, Ms. May.”

“Please, just May.” the woman softened slightly when she saw the way Jemma squirmed in her seat, knitting and re-knitting her fingers together. “There’s no need to be nervous. I have no expectations of what this meeting will be. You can talk as much or as little as you like. When you feel comfortable, why don’t you tell me why you decided to come in.”

“I, um.” Jemma took a deep breath, driving her nails into her palms and trying to ground herself in the sensation, ignoring the gentle chiding of Leo’s voice in her head. “I’m nervous a lot? No, no that’s not it, I’m sorry. Leo’s always telling me I shouldn’t downplay anything I tell people, and I suppose that’s especially pointless here. I have panic attacks sometimes and I… I tried to tell my parents about them and they just… they don’t listen. Or care. No, that’s mean, they’re my parents and they provide for me and I should be grateful.” 

May looks alarmed at that last remark. It was certainly a strange thought path for such a young girl to be on. She decided to tread carefully. 

“Tell me a little about your parents, Simmons.” 

“They only want the best for me. That’s why they get mad when I don’t do my best in school, they don’t want me to muck up my future. After all, they both worked very hard to get where they are and to continue to provide for our family. Especially father. It’s understandable he’d be disappointed in me when I don’t manage my usual A’s. The… structure can be a little bothersome. They don’t care much for my messier habits, the science and climbing trees and such, as they aren’t ‘ladylike’ but as I said, I understand, because they only want the best for me, and I’m sure they know better than I do.” The words came out all in a rush, the clarifying statements about nothing being that bad spluttered out hurriedly and causing growing alarm to May. 

“Simmons… you know you don’t have to agree with everything your parents do and say, right? Just because they provide for you financially and the in the most basic sense of providing a house and food for you, doesn’t excuse a lack of them providing emotionally. You shouldn’t be made to feel like their love and support is something you earn. That’s not what parents are.” May’s voice was careful and soft, and the way Jemma looked back at her could only be described as stricken. She didn’t say anything for several long minutes, just sitting in the chair, staring down at her hands and trying not to pick at her nails or hangnails. Father didn’t approve of bloody hands. 

“Can-” she took a gasping breath, forcibly biting a cry back with her teeth on her lip. “Can you call Leo out of class, please?” 

Calling another student into a session was unorthodox to say the least, but the sheer panic on Jemma’s face was enough to persuade May to send a call slip out to Leo’s teacher, beckoning the boy out immediately. Leo, being a genius, assumed immediately that he was being called in because of Jemma, and quite nearly sprinted into the office and threw himself through the door and onto the couch next to her, immediately beginning to murmur quietly even as he panted, out of breath. 

“Are you alright Jem? What’s th’ matter?” He frowned down at his best friend, tucking a strand of her hair back. 

“M-my parents. They don’t treat me the way they should, do they?” her voice shakes as she asks, and Leo feels his heart shatter into a million little pieces as the idea that her parents were cruel finally dawned on Jemma after all these years. 

“No, Jem. No they don’t. I’m sorry.” 

All Jemma did was shake her head vigorously and throw herself at Leo, burying her face in his chest before letting out a sob. Mouthing an apology to May over her hair, he tugged her closer to him and stroked her hair and rubbed his thumb along the top of her arm, near soundlessly whispering comfort against the top of her head. Eventually, her sobbing faded into sniffles, and she pulled back from leo slightly. May smiled sympathetically and handed her a package of kleenex she’d pulled out of a desk. 

“Sorry.” Jemma whispered to the room, taking the kleenex. 

“Don’t be sorry, Jem. Never about things like that.” Leo said fiercely, gripping her shoulders. 

“Fitz is right, Simmons. There’s no need to apologize for having feelings or being upset, even if it makes things messy. Life isn’t always going to be neat and orderly, especially where love and family are involved.”

“Alright.” Jemma said with a nod, offering both of them a watery smile. May looked towards the door, thinking. 

“I’m going to do something a bit unorthodox. I’m excusing both of you from the rest of your day’s classes, and Fitz here is going to call his mom to come pick both of you up, and I’m sure once you fill her in and what’s happened today, she’ll drag you both home and make dinner and everything will seem much less awful then.” May smiled gently, signing off on a few notes and shooting off a few emails to teachers. 

“Are you sure that’s-” Jemma started, and May cut her off, nodding. 

“I can’t in good faith send you back to class to shaken up. You’ll feel better if you go spend some quiet time in a safe environment, which for you I’m reasonably sure is the Fitz household. Stay there as long as you can.”

“Thank you, May.” Jemma said with a smile, her voice already having lost some of it’s watery shaking quality. May nodded, and slid the two notes to be given to their teachers the next day across the desk, while Fitz stepped across the room to call his mom, speaking quietly into the receiver. 

“She’s on her way. Wanna go wait out front, Jem?” he put a hand on her elbow, and she nodded, gently rising to her feet. 

“Thank you again.” she whispered at May as they headed for the building’s exit. Once they were outdoors, Leo wrapped an arm around her shoulders, stroking her hair softly with one hand. 

“Are you okay now, Jem?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. Is that bad?” she frowned, glancing up at him slightly. 

“No. Not at all. I didn’t know how to feel the first time someone told me the way Da’ treated us was wrong either. It’s hard, when your parents don’t love you the way you’re supposed to.” 

“That’s… different though. Y-your da.. he hit you. That’s so much worse. My parents are just a little strict and mean sometimes..” she trailed off, worrying her lip. 

“Jemma, no. It’s not so much worse.” he turned to face her head on, looking at her seriously and grasping her hands, half for comfort and half to keep her from digging her nails into her palms “Your parents are not strict and sort of mean, they are cruel. They expect too much of you and punish you too harshly and the way they speak to you and treat you is… is… it’s awful. It makes my blood boil. Yeah, my da’ smacked me around a few times, but it’s the bloody awful things he said to me and mum that give me nightmares and make me want to punch mirrors.”

Jemma didn’t say anything, just nodded and flung herself into him again, tears pricking at her eyes as she wrapped him in the tightest hug she could manage. Her arms held fast to his ribcage and her nose pressed into his chest, and she just stood there holding him for several minutes, before looking up and finally speaking, her voice wavering but almost strangely reverent. 

“You, Leopold Fitz, are the bravest, most wonderful human being who has ever walked this planet. You are my hero.” she grinned broadly, and after ducking around to make sure no other students were around and that Leo’s mom hadn’t pulled up yet, and leaned onto her toes to press a quick kiss against Leo’s cheek. He flushed scarlet and scrubbed the back of his neck, a nervous smile dancing on his lips. 

“You’re pretty brave and wonderful too, Jemma.” he said softly, then settled into a comfortable silence, both of them smiling softly but shakily, as they waited for Leo’s mother to pick them up.


	8. i will walk down to the end with you

“I didn’t think you would have a problem with this.” Jemma clenched her teeth, trying hard to keep herself under control. An outburst right now simply wouldn’t do.

“You’re too young and irresponsible to be on your own. Besides, I hardly think you galavanting off with that Fitz boy is appropriate.” her mother made a slight face of distaste. 

“It’s not galavanting. It’s university. And a good university, I might add, on a full scholarship. You encouraged the school to let me skip two grades even though they were afraid of the social and emotional repercussions and now that it’s come time for me to graduate early because of the track you set me on, you’ve suddenly developed a problem with it.” 

“You are being very disagreeable, Jemma Beatrice.” her father intoned from across the room, looking up at her coolly. “Your mother and I find it inappropriate. I doubt you’re capable of caring for yourself at any rate. You’re far too flighty.” 

“That’s IT!” Jemma stomped her foot, clenching her fists even as it drove her nails into her palms. “I can’t do this anymore! I have spent years pretending I’ve no problem with the way the two of you treatment, and I simply can’t anymore! Can’t take care of myself? I’ve been looking after myself for years! The two of you used to skip my birthday to attend company dinners! Flighty? I have never missed a day of class for anything other than a fever, I always turn in my work on time, I am always home by curfew. I do everything I can to please the two of you and it’s never enough. I want to go to MIT. And I want to go next year, not in a year’s time, or two years time, and I want to go with Leopold Fitz. Because unlike the two of you, him and his mum have actually been looking after me for the past eight years! They’ve already accepted me. All I have to do is say yes. I’m done being controlled and manipulated by both of you. I’m going to school next fall, and that’s that.”

Before her mother could start screaming, or her father could advance towards her for a long lecture, his fingers digging into her shoulders, Jemma practically sprinted upstairs, shoved a few days worth of clothes in her school bag along with her essentials, left a note on her pillow, and shimmied out of the window. Logically, she could call Leo and ask him to send his mum for her, but she wasn’t thinking clearly, so she walked the nearly two miles to his house. By the time she got there, her seething anger had faded and she was panicking over her actions.What would her parents do? Would they call the cops to come find her? Would they disown her? What if they grounded her from seeing Leo? As she knocked on the front door to the Fitz house, she was fighting back tears and panicked gasps, and when Fiona opened the door to see Jemma’s flushed face and obvious discomfort, she was immediately concerned. 

“Could. Could I stay here. Maybe. A few days?” Jemma managed to stutter out without breaking down. 

“Of course, love. Leo’s in his room, darling. Head on in.” 

Jemma nodded briskly, seconds from breaking, and ran to Leo’s room as fast as her exhausted legs would carry her. Fiona watched after her, concerned, but decided to try and get the full story later, when the poor girl had calmed down a bit more. 

Leo was sitting on his bed, reading a book, when Jemma burst through his door, fell onto his bed on top of him, and promptly started sobbing. He didn’t ask what was the matter, this wasn’t the time. He simply pulled her upright and against him, stroking her hair and back and muttering soothing words as she sobbed helplessly. When she finally finished, she couldn’t speak, which wasn’t unusual. He’d gotten used to her strange silences after a breakdown and simply gave her time to gather her thoughts. Carefully, he slipped her backpack off of her and two the floor, and pressed a spare sweater into her arms in case she wanted it. 

“Can I leave for just a sec, Jem?” he asked, voice soft. She nodded in response. Pressing a kiss to her hair, Leo stood and slipped out into the kitchen. 

“Is she alright?” his mum asked, watching as Fitz pulled a few snacks from the cupboards and put on the kettle for tea. 

“I don’t think so. It seems really bad this time. She’s not talking yet.” 

“She asked if she could stay for a few days.” 

“I figured. Her pack seemed heavy when I finally managed to get it off her.” 

The kettle whistled, and conversation faded off as Leo made Jemma a mug of tea, with milk and honey just like she liked it, and carefully carried the mug and a few comfort snacks back into his room. When he toed the door open, she’d pulled his jumper on and wrapped her arms around her knees, looking slightly calmer but still shaky. She looked up when she heard the door, and offered him a watery smile. She reached a shaking hand out and took the tea carefully, blowing on it lightly. Leo scooted back beside her, looping a loose arm over her shoulders and letting her lean into him, setting a box of biscuits, the good chocolate kind, and a packet of cheesy crisps down in front of them. Once she was about halfway through the mug of tea, Jemma finally spoke. 

“They don’t want me to go to MIT. And they especially don’t want me to go in the fall with you. I screamed at them and then literally ran away. I just left a note on my pillow. Oh, Leo, what if I’ve ruined everything? What if they disown me or kick me out or call the police to come get me, what if your mum gets in troub-”

“We’ll handle it, Jem. Whatever happens, we’ll handle it. Together. You and me, like always.” 

“Do you think May can help us find a way to make sure I get to go away to school?”

“If anyone can, it’s May. Are you alright?”

“I think I bloodied my palms up a bit, to be honest.” she said sheepishly. 

“I’ll get a warm cloth. We’ll clean them up.” 

“Would you… would you braid my hair? That always seems to make me feel better when I’m out of sorts.” 

“‘Course, Jem. Be right back.” 

Jemma curled into Leo’s pillows while she waited for him to return to the room with a washcloth and hairbands. She rolled his jumper sleeves over her elbows, so the fabric wouldn’t get damp, and tried not to look at the red half moons in her skin. Leo ducked back into the room and sat beside her silently, pulling her hands into his lap. Gently, he pressed the cloth against them, wiping up pinpricks of blood and carefully soothing the sting away. Once he’d finished both palms, he pulled the sleeves of the jumper back down, carefully covering her hands to prevent further injury, and patted the bed in front of him. Jemma crawled around easily, leaning on her knees as he picked up a brush and pulled it through her loose curls. She shut her eyes, enjoying the soothing feeling of gentle bristles on her scalp, Leo’s fingers in her hair, and his comforting, solid presence behind her. 

Jemma wasn’t stupid. She knew that at sixteen they should have outgrown the bed-sharing, hair-playing, sweater-swapping aspects of their friendship. Teenage best friends, when they were a boy and a girl anyway, just didn’t do those things. But here, in Leo’s room with him, his mum puttering around in the kitchen, was the only place she felt safe and at home. If she could have lived here instead of with her parents, she would have moved in a heartbeat, and she knew both Leo and Fiona would let her. Once her hair was in two loose braids, she leaned back against Leo, letting herself be lulled by the familiar rhythm of his heart, beating slowly against her back. 

“Feeling better, Jems?”

“Yes.” she whispered “You always make me feel better.”

“We’re gonna fix this, Jems. I don’t know how, but we’ll find away.” 

“I know you will, Leo. You’re my hero, you know that?” she blinked up at him, sleepy from crying and walking and panicking, lulled boneless and content by attention. Leo blushed, but did and said nothing else as Jemma tugged his arms more firmly around him and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, I am SO sorry. I've had horrid writer's block over this story for ages, because I'm always so careful and nervous about how to handle the Simmons family. But I promise, no matter how long this poor thing goes without updating, I'm not abandoning it. And I'll be on break soon, and I hope to have it finished before I start up school again in January. Thank you all for your patience <3


	9. so this is what the volume knob's for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for verbal abuse! Be safe loves

Jemma clutched the manilla envelope, her hands shaking violently. Fiona stood behind her, one hand firm but soft on her shoulder. Beside her was Leo, also shaking, with one arm wrapped tight around her waist, as if he were trying to hold her together. 

“There’s no going back, after this.” she said, her voice quiet and scared. “Even if… if my petition isn’t accepted, they’ll be furious. This is the point of no return.”

“It will go through, Jemma. You’ve got the papers May gave you, about the legal support from the state. You’ve got a guardian.” he pointed at his mum, who squeezed Jemma’s shoulder “You’ve got a place to live. You’ve got money for school. And there’s no doubt with yours, mine, and mum’s testimony that it’s in your best interests.”

“I know… I know. But it’s still scary. I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a high dive.”

“We’re both right here for you, dear.” Fiona said, voice strong but soft.

Nodding, Jemma took a deep breath and followed by Leo and Fiona, she stepped through the doors of the courthouse, navigating the maze of hallways to find the family court. Between Fiona, Mr. Coulson, and Ms. May, she’d managed to gather all the information and paperwork she’d need to file for emancipation of a minor. She hadn’t told her parents yet, things hadn’t been well since she’d run away to the Fitz’s and she was dreading the immense fallout when she told them what she was doing. It was entirely likely her family would never speak to her again. 

She hadn’t been sure of what she was going to do, when she’d first gone home after running away. But when she walked sheepishly through the door, she was greeted with screaming. Not a single inquiry or word of concern, if she’d been safe, if she was okay. Just disappointment and anger. And if that hadn’t been enough already, when she’d tried to stand up from where she cowered on the sofa, escape the yelling, her father shoved her back down and kept a grip on her shoulder as he screamed. Jemma made up her mind the minute her shoulders thumped the back of the sofa. Or rather, had the courage to admit she’d made a decision she had a feeling she’d made long ago.

And now today, one week later, Jemma was turning in the paperwork to sever her ties to the people who birthed her. Leo and Fiona have spent the past week assuaging her guilt, looking after her in every way she’d let them, but it still ate at her. She tried to keep in mind what Ms. May had told her. That humans feel guilt about things they are conditioned to, and just because she feels guilty doesn’t mean she’s wrong. Not about this, at least. After she turned in her papers and talked to half a dozen people, who then also talked to Leo and Fiona, both separately and then together, she went home with them for dinner. Later, she would have to go to her parents and tell them what she’d done, but first she could have this moment to steel herself. To store up the strength she’d need. 

“I’m very proud of you, sweetheart.” Fiona says over their generous bowls of potato and leek soup. “You did a very difficult thing today.”

“I don’t feel like you should be proud.” Jemma said, her voice low as she tucks away another spoonful of soup. 

“I know, Jemma. And I understand. I felt a lot of guilt when I left Leo’s father. I wondered if it was really the right thing, if it was really that bad, if I shouldn’t stay and try to help him. But I learned a very important lesson from the whole situation, and that lesson was that sometimes you have to put your needs ahead of your loved ones. I had to put the safety and comfort of Leo and I over his father’s, because his father was cruel and unfair. You’re doing the same for yourself now.”

“Thank you, both of you, so much. Not just… today. Just everything. I don’t know what I would have done with all this without the two of you.”

“That’s what family’s for, dear.” Fiona said fiercely, leaning across the table and grasping Jemma’s hand. Jemma gave her a watery smile and then scooted her chair toward Leo’s, leaning her head on his shoulder as she squeezed her knee supportively. 

When Fiona drove Jemma home later that evening, Leo had bundled her into one of his sweaters, with a note slipped in the pocket, to give her extra courage. She thanked both them profusely once more, and then slipped from the car and walked up to her front door. She didn’t have to knock. The door swung open, nearly hitting her in the face as she stepped onto the porch.

“Jemma Beatrice Simmons. I cannot believe you.” 

Her father had answered the door, completely incensed. His jaw was set strongly, and his arms crossed tight across his chest. Her mother lurked behind him, looking positively livid. Jemma assumed the courthouse must have called them. She’d been hoping they might skip that protocol, but she hadn’t been quite so lucky. 

“How dare you disgrace us like this! This is completely unacceptable.” Her mother’s voice was so loud and high pitched she was sure their neighbors could hear. Jemma swallowed, clutching the note in her pocket tightly to keep herself from crumbling inward. She needed to stand tall right now.

“It’s because of that blasted Fitz boy, I know it is. He’s a terrible influence, I’m sure he’s positively poisoned you against us. I knew he was bad news.”

“Leo Fitz and his mother have been more like family for me than the two of you have these past few years, so kindly I ask you to stop speaking about them in that matter. Seeking emancipation was my idea, along with help and suggestions from Melinda May, the school’s counselor. Leo and his mum have been helping me because they have experience in this area.”

“And what area is that, young lady? Humiliating your family and being an ungrateful brat?” her mother sneered.

“No. Experience with what happens when loved ones abuse you and mistreat you.” Jemma’s voice came out cool and calm, though she could feel the panic and fear rising slowly from her chest and up to her throat. 

“Abuse? Ha! You wouldn’t know the first thing about abuse. Neither of us has ever laid a hand on you!” her father had the gall to roll his eyes, and Jemma had to fight the urge to shout.

“Well, firstly, that simply isn’t true. Just the other night you shoved me and held me in place on the sofa. And secondly, abuse doesn’t need to be physical. The two of you are harsh, neglectful, and unnecessarily cruel. I shouldn’t be afraid of my own parents! Your job was to love and nurture me, make me feel safe! But you just couldn’t bloody manage that could you? Not with the family reputation on the line, that’s much more important!” 

“Jemma Beatrice! You shut your mouth!” her mother gasped.

“No. Not until I’m done saying what I have to say. Obviously the city told you I intend to become emancipated. Fiona and Leo, and Ms. May, have helped me seek out legal help to support myself, and Leo and Fiona both provided testimony for my paperwork. Fiona has offered to let me live with them until Leo and I leave for college. Ms. May says she sees no reason my papers won’t be accepted. Assuming they are, I will be moving into Leo’s and cease all communication and contact with you and the rest of the family. I will not expect or desire your financial support.”

Her speech finished, Jemma couldn’t hold back the panic any further, and she bolted for her bedroom, locking the door and shoving a chair against it, just to be safe. Shaking, she buried herself under her covers with her cellphone and called Leo, focusing on his voice instead of the shouting outside her door.


	10. and you held your hands up to form a heart in the air

It took a week. Seven days of hiding in her room, avoiding her parents, and sneaking out to the Fitzes’ as much as possible, and then it was over. Jemma and Leo sat on the floor of her bedroom. Fiona had called them off school for the day so Jemma could pack while her parents weren’t at home. The space was a mess of boxes, open drawers, and folded clothes. Her parents had told her she could take her things, provided anything that was a family heirloom was left behind. After all, she was no longer family. 

“I don’t want to give it back. It’s mine. It’s not fair.” Jemma pawed at her teary eyes, fingers clutched around a silver chain. Her great grandmother’s locket. She never wore it, it was worth far too much for that, but it was hers. She’d been named after her great grandmother, and the necklace had resided in her room since the woman had died when Jemma was three years old. 

“No, it’s not Jem. I still think you should just take it.” 

“I don’t know what they would do. What if they reported it stolen? What if they came to your house? It’s not worth it.” Jemma shook her head, still teary eyed, and ducked her head into Leo’s shoulder. 

“I know Jem. I know.” He put one arm around her, and used the other to type off a quick text to his mom, seeking a solution. He had an idea, and he knew it wouldn’t be the same, but he thought it might help. 

“We should finish. I want to be gone before they get back again.” 

Putting on a brave face, Jemma placed the necklace in the window sill, out of the way, and went back to loading neatly folded clothes into box after box. Leo went around her room, carefully packing up school things and knick knacks he knew were Jemma’s and not the family’s, wrapping anything fragile in the roll of paper towels his Mum had left with them. Within an hour, they’d packed the last of her things, and Fiona was on her way to help them load everything into the van, and then Jemma would leave home for good. Except not really, she mused to herself, looking over at Leo perched on the edge of her bare mattress. This house with her parents hadn’t been home for a long time. 

Jemma cried on the drive from her parents’ house to the Fitzes’. Somewhere in the back of her head guilt nagged, but she remembered what Miss May had told her. That feelings were complicated and leaving your family, even when it’s the right thing to do, is hard and scary, especially for such a young person. Leo held her hand the whole drive, rubbing his thumb along the edge of her palm. 

“I haven’t quite got the extra room ready yet, but I know you won’t mind sharing a few days.” Fiona smiled, warm and reassuring, down at Jemma and Leo. Both nodded, and Jemma looked quietly grateful. That had been the plan. She could have finished the room in plenty of time, but she thought giving the girl a few days to settle in by giving her time with Leo, time with a familiar situation, might help her. 

“Thank you, Fiona. This really means so much to me… I would never have thought or been able to do this without you. Both of you.” Jemma offered Leo a watery smile, and both he and Fiona pulled her into a tight hug. Leo brightened suddenly. 

“Oh! I almost forgot. I have something for you.” he looked at his mom, who nodded meaningfully, and Jemma stood confused in the entryway until Leo returned from upstairs a few moments later. He pressed a box, covered in worn black velvet, into Jemma’s hands. “I know it won’t be the same but… I thought it might help a little.” He nodded for her to open it. 

Tilting her head, Jemma pulled the clamshell box open. In it was a delicate gold chain, with an old but well kept Celtic knot dangling from it. 

“It’s shield knot. It’s been in my family for a handful of generations. Mum got it from her mum, and so on, and she meant to give it to her daughter, but then we left Da and she got stuck with just me so… She told me I could give it to whoever I marry someday, but I reckon no one deserves it more than you do. Being as good as family, and all.” Leo fidgeted and blushed as he spoke, and Jemma teared up and flung her arms around him in a tight hug, sniffling against his neck.

“Thank you Leo. Thank you so much.” she wiped her eyes and looked up at Fiona. “And you too, Fiona. I don’t know what I’d do without the two of you.”

“Well, you’ll never have to find out, now will you dear? We’re family. Real family. We’re not letting you go anywhere anytime soon.” Fiona squeeze Jemma’s shoulder and mussed Leo’s hair. “Come on now, let’s get all Jemma’s things into the spare room and then we can decide where we’re having our celebratory dinner.

Hours later, tucked into Leo’s bed beside him under a mess of covers, it occurred to Jemma that it was over. The word held a funny weight in her chest, unburdened by the warmth of a delicious dinner out and a batch of homemade brownies with ice cream for dessert. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Just curiously heavy. She stared idly at Leo, who wasn’t asleep yet either and was leafing through a Popular Science magazine, folding down page corners for later. As she looked at it, the reality set in. She would never wake up again and wonder what mood her parents would be in that day. She would never have to tighten her shoulders and school her face into a neutral expression just to get from the door to her room. Her panic attacks would no longer be met with embarrassment, disbelief, and beration. Her struggles would no longer be belittled. It all overwhelmed her, all at once, and she sniffled, shifting to wipe at her eyes again. Leo heard her and felt her move and looked away from his reading clearly concerned. 

“Are you alright, Jem?” he put the magazine down and reached out for her. She sniffled again and nodded, pressing herself into his side. 

“Yes. I’m just… I’m very glad I’m home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I am sorry this story is so slow to update! But here's one more, and I think we're nearing the end, and possibly another time skip! I hope you all enjoyed it!


	11. but that was the only thing we knew

“Mum?” Leo fiddled with his hands, approaching his mother quietly as she sliced vegetables in the kitchen. A little less than two months has passed since Jemma moved in with them, and things are moving worryingly smoothly. 

“What’s up sweetheart?”

“Jemma… Jemma and I aren’t, normal, are we?”

“Obviously not, love,” she said easily “you’re both startlingly brilliant, and neither of you has had the easiest start in life.” 

“That’s not what I mean, mum.” 

Fiona sighed, and put down the knife. She’d known this would happen eventually, but she was hoping it would wait until she knew what to do about it. That was, apparently, not going to happen. 

“You mean your friendship.” She turned around fully, looking down over at Leo, where he leaned against the counter, and dried her hands on a dish towel. 

“...Yeah. I guess?”

“You guess?”

“I don’t know… That just, doesn’t always seem the right word? But-” he pauses for a moment, and Fiona watches him measure his thoughts before giving up, and she knows it will all just come tumbling out. “I’m afraid to talk about it to Jemma, because she’s the only best friend I’ve ever had and she understands me and… I don’t want to lose her. And she… she doesn’t have anyone but us anymore, mum. And I know we’re geniuses, but bloody hell, we’re just sixteen, we’re kids, and people are supposed to… to date around as teenagers and I know I shouldn’t be thinking about spending the rest of my life with anyone but I wouldn’t want to risk throwing everything away just to ‘see what happens and I….” he trails off, and after several seconds of silence, it’s clear he has nothing else to say. Fiona pulls him into a hug, and ruffles his curls. 

“I understand, Leo. And maybe, as your mum, I should be more worried, or chide you about independence or whatnot, but I’m not going to. Because you and Jemma are both very strange people with very strange lives, and it’s very hard to find people who truly understand you in this world. Maybe I should tell you, both of you, to date around, but you’re so much younger and yet so much brighter than everyone you know. If you want to tell Jemma how you feel, darling, I think you should. We both know letting things fester never helps, and I don’t doubt for a minute that unreciprocated feelings could ruin the bond you two have.”

“Really?” 

“Really. I know you’re my little scientist, and you don’t believe in silly things like this, but whether the two of you fall in love and stay in love forever, or you simply grow old as partners and best friends, our little miss Simmons is your soulmate. The one person in this big universe of ours you were meant to find.”

“Yeah?” Leo looks thoughtful, pursing his lips. “Thanks, mum.” 

“Of course, dear. I mean, I can’t say I’m exactly surprised. One of you was bound to have a crush on the other eventually and, frankly, with both of you heading off to uni, I’d certainly rather you date each other than people who are actually old enough to be uni students. I suppose I could, maybe should, tell you to wait till you’re not living under the same roof, or at least my roof, but honestly? I don’t see it making much difference.” 

“So what’s for dinner?”

“You’re cheeky. It’s stew.”

“Okay. I’ll let Jemma know.”

“Where is she, by the way?”

“She’s… doing tai chi in the garden. It was Ms. May’s idea.”

“Well then I’m certain by the time dinner’s ready she’ll have worked up an appetite. Now go make sure our graceless genius doesn’t fall.”

Leo wandered out the back door, and Fiona returned to her chopping, sighing quietly. She felt that, just maybe, she should be more concerned about this. But she’d grown up in a tiny Scottish hamlet. People married people they’d known since birth there, right out of secondary sometimes, and were perfectly fine. She knew it was… unusual. But so were Leo and Jemma, and so was the strange bond they had. And the past few years, she’d seen the wide eyed way Jemma looked at Leo, and wrapped herself in his sweaters and reached for his hands, and even fussed over him, wiping jam from his mouth or fixing his collars. And, in turn, she’d seen the was Leo never let Jemma wander too far away from him, and how he’d let her closer that Fiona had ever seen him let someone after… his father, and the gentle, almost reverent way he’d watch her work on things. There was, she thought to herself as she pushed onions into boiling beef stock, no point in denying the inevitable. 

Jemma balanced, somewhat precariously, on one leg, trying to do the stretches Ms. May had taught her. Her eyes were shut, and her breathing was slow, but it just didn’t seem to be doing much of anything, and her calves and ankles were aching with the weight of keeping her balanced, so she dropped her other foot to the ground, and blew her bangs from her eyes. 

“Hey Leo.” she called, heading his way as she saw him emerging from the door. “Ugh, my hair’s getting too long.” 

“S’pretty though. Um.” 

“... Thanks, Leo.” 

“Mum’s making stew for dinner, so it’ll be a bit.” He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tic, and Jemma titled her head. 

“Leo? Is something wrong?”

“Nuh uh… mum and I were just talking about things, that’s all.” 

“Are you sure?” She frowned, visibly concerned, and stepped forward to lay her hand on his arm.

“We were just… We were talking about you.”

“Oh dear… I haven’t been a bother have I? I know it must be hard t-”

“Jem! No, never! God no. I guess it wasn’t so much that we were talking about you as… I was talking about you.”

“Leo?” She was relieved nothing was wrong, but mostly felt incredibly confused. 

“Our friendship it’s… it isn’t exactly normal, you know?”

“Yes, that’s true.” Jemma nodded sagely, and tugged on Leo’s wrist, pulling them both onto a nearby deck chair. 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to her about. I know our friendship’s strong and a bit odd but I had been wondering about certain things and I thought it best to talk them out critically before mentioning them.” 

All through the brief conversation, Leo had grown increasingly blushy and fidgeting. Jemma, who was not as oblivious about emotions as some people might have thought her, more or less had a feeling what was going on. She reached over, putting her hands on Leo’s to stop his mumbling. 

“I understand. And I… I like you too, Leo, a lot but… gosh we’re very young, aren’t we? We’ve never dated, though that’s mostly because everyone we know is older, and what if… What if we muck us up? We’re not even going to be seventeen for a handful more months. I don’t… I don’t have anyone else anymore, Leo.”

“You will always have us, Jemma.” Leo’s voice goes fierce suddenly, and he clasps her hands. “I don’t care what does or doesn’t happen between us now and in the future, you will always have mum and I.”

Jemma, feeling a bit watery eyed and unsteady, scooted closer to Leo, leaning her head against his. 

“You’re my best friend in the world. The universe. The galaxy, even.” 

“And you’re mine. And you always will be. Nothing could ever change that, Jemma. But… But sometimes I think might want you to be something else too.” 

“I know… so do I sometimes. You have to have noticed. But it’s scary.” 

“It’s terrifying. But… okay, I want to say something, but you have to promise not to laugh.” 

“Never. Never laugh, I mean.” 

I know.” He took a steadying breath, grounding himself in the feel of her hands in his. “I’ve mentioned before after mum and I left my da’ I wasn’t too keen on… touchin’ or bein’ touched. And you were always different. Before I met you, I could barely let my mom hug me.” His voice wavered for a moment, and Jemma’s eyes softened, and she scooted closer to steady him. “My mum.. In the kitchen just now, she said, whether we, you know, end up together romantically or not, she thinks we’re sort of… soul mates. Not because we’re fated to be in love, or something. But she thinks we were always meant to find each other and mean something to each other, and because of that she thinks, even if this went wrong, it wouldn’t matter. Because we’re supposed to be around each other, so it would be okay.” 

“Like atoms, from the Big Bang.” Jemma says, her voice quiet and thoughtful. “You know what they say. Energy is never created nor destroyed, so every particle in you and I has been around since the Big Bang. Maybe our atoms were together then, and every time they become something new, those new things have to find each other, because our atoms don’t want to be apart.” 

“Leave it to Jemma Simmons to science soul mates.” Leo rolled his eyes, but smiled at her affectionately. 

“That is what I do, Fitzy. But I… I hate to admit it, but I think she may be right. Humans, after all, are pack animals at the end of the day. We all need each other. Some more than others. I think I was meant to find you, both of you, you and your mum, this… this family we’ve built. Like…” 

“Like an apology.” Leo’s voice is soft. Jemma nods, smiling shyly. Of course he knew. He’d been in the same place she had been. They were always cut from the same cloth. Matching atoms, impossible to separate, born of the same inexplicable miracle of existence. 

“Like an apology. And like a gift. And… And what’s the point in having a gift, if you never open it and see what’s inside? Besides. Whether we get together and stay together or not, I can’t think of anyone else I’d… I’d rather have be my first kiss than you, Leopold Fitz.”

“Jemma…” his voice was whisper, and she more felt the breath of it on her face than heard him say it, and then she didn’t see or hear or feel or know anything than the warmth of him so close to her, and his lips on her, and the careful way he pressed his hands into her waist, or the easy way her fingers carded into his messy curls. 

“Oh.” she breathes out softly after they pull apart, just as Leo, starry eyed, lets out a matching “Wow.”

“Hello.” He says uselessly, slack jawed and wide eyed and still so, so close, his hands on her face and his forehead leaning against hers, their noses touching. 

“Hi.” Jemma giggles at him, equally useless, and suddenly they’re both laughing, a tangle of hands and fingers and flushed skin, clutching each other as tightly as they can. Hearing the loud and vaguely manic giggling, Fiona glances out the window and smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? A completely happy fluffy update less than a month after my last one? It's a miracle! I hope you guys enjoyed! Also, I can't believe this story is 11 chapters long, or that I have been writing it for like a year or some nonsense.


	12. epilogue: there will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year

“Leo! Leo, hurry up, we’re going to be late!” Jemma called from the bathroom, running a comb through her loose curls. 

“Jem, we’ve got three whole hours before the flight!” 

“Yes, and it’s nearly 40 minutes to get to the airport, and we need to be there at least two hours early! You know how security gets at Logan this time of year!”

“Ugh, fine!” she could practically hear him roll his eyes as he shouted from the next room of their apartment. 

Their apartment. Jemma smiled, gathering her last few toiletries from the bathroom and taking them to her impeccably organized suitcase. It had been over a year and that phrase still thrilled and delighted her. Her and Leo had lived in the dorms until they were of age, and then with the help of their few side jobs — a published paper here, a patent there— they’d rented a small apartment not too far from MIT’s main campus. And between school and extra activities they were both involved in, clubs and the like, this was the first time since the move they had time to fly home and visit Fiona, and both were absolutely ecstatic about it. 

“Oh Leo, I’m so excited!” Jemma was tugging her roller suitcase out to the living room, her messenger bag swinging on her hip. Leo grinned up from his own bag, and nodded. 

“I am too. it’ll be nice to see Mum, we haven’t since the last time we went home for the winter hols.” 

“I know! And I’m so excited to tell her about the surprise!” 

“She’s going to go mental, it’ll be amazing.” 

“You do have the card with the tickets, yes? I’m trusting you, Leopold Fitz.” she stuck her tongue out, playful, and saw him roll his eyes this time. 

“I promise.” he dug around in his own bag a moment “See?” he held out a dark red envelope with ‘Mum’ written on it in Jemma’s impeccable cursive. 

“Excellent.” 

“I’ll admit, I know it’s mostly for her benefit but… I’m pretty excited too.”

“Me too.” 

“It’ll be good to be across the pond. I know it’s not quite the same as Sheffield but..”

“It’s better, Leo. It’s where you’re from. I don’t need to remember how awful and lonely everything was with my parents before you and your mum, and now our uni friends. I’d honestly rather see somewhere new, and somewhere that’s important to you.” 

Jemma’s smile as she spoke was bashful, and Leo was lit up like a Christmas tree as he carefully pulled her face to his, stroking her cheeks and pressing his lips to hers in a long and firm but gentle kiss. She sighed happily, pressing herself closer to him for a moment before pulling away and ruffling his curls. 

“Almost ready? I should call a car, if you are.” 

“Yeah, just one last thing from the bedroom. Go ahead and call.” 

After she nodded at him, Leo swung past her to the room they shared and surreptitiously pulled something from a shoebox beneath the bed, and stashed it in a balled up pair of clean dress socks before shoving it in the bag at his hip. He smiled to himself, patted it once, and double checked the card for his mum once more, then nodded at the empty room. He checked all the light switches and electrical plugs, so Jemma wouldn’t have to, and then reentered the living area just as she was hanging up with the taxi company. 

“All clear.” he said with a grin. 

“Good. And the cab’s on it’s way, so let’s check the living room and kitchen and head downstairs! We’ll be back home before we know it.” 

The plane ride back was far from long, and certainly not as long as the one they’d all be taking in a few days, but both were relieved regardless when their feet hit the tile floor of the baggage claim. 

“There you are!” Fiona called, distant but growing rapidly closer. Leo and Jemma both beamed and rushed her, and she embraced both of them at the same time.

“Oh! My darlings are all grown up! Look at the two of you. I think Leopold here has finally grown into these ears.” Fiona smiled affectionately and gently tugged at said ears, and Fitz stuck out his tongue.

“Actually, Fiona, the ears never stop growing.” Jemma smirked in Leo’s direction. 

“Well, then I guess our boy is just plum out of luck then! Come now, let’s get you both home.” 

The sights and smells of the Fitz house completely overwhelmed Jemma the moment they passed through the threshhold. When she’d been younger, she’d never imagined coming home from uni being so sad and nostalgic and wonderful. To be frank, she’d never imagined coming home from uni at all, rather having preferred entertaining the fantasy that once she had moved out, she would never have to go back. And, she reminded herself softly, watching Leo carry both their bags to his room, she didn’t have to. This was home now. This had been home for years. She teared up, just a little, and turned to Fiona, wrapping her in another hug. 

“It’s so good to see you.” she said quietly, smiling at the older woman. 

“It’s good to see you too, love. I’m glad university has been so good to you and our Leo.”

“Jemma!” Leo called suddenly, still on the other side of the house “Do we have to wait, or do you think we can just give it to her now?”

“We can do it now, if you like!” Jemma called back, positively beaming at Fiona.

“What mischief have the two of you gotten into?”

“No mischief, I promise! Just a surprise, from both Leo and I, from the proceeds of our first joint patent.” 

A patent, she failed to mention, they had sold to Stark Industries, for a very, very pretty sum indeed. They would tell her, of course, but Jemma wanted Leo to do it, and they wanted to wait until afterwards. Her parents knew, because Leo, being more petty than Jemma would allow herself to be, had mailed them a photocopy of the patent and the sum they got for it in an unmarked envelope. Just to rub their faces in it. She’d chided him at first, but eventually she’d come to think it was quite sweet. 

Leo came bounding into the room, red envelope in hand, and pressed it towards his mum. Fiona raised one eyebrow and opened it expertly, smiling softly as she read the outside of the card, Jemma had picked it of course, and then as she opened it her jaw dropped. 

Nestled in the ‘just because’ card were three plane tickets— One for each of them, of course— to fly first class into Glasgow Airport, in a few days. The return trip was for a week later. Jemma and Leo were both grinning ear to ear, and Fiona teared up, pulling them both into a strong hug.

“Thank you. Both of you. You’re both lovely, wonderful, brilliant children, you know that? And you’re mine. You’re both mine.” she stressed the both and fixed Jemma was a strong glare, as if daring the young woman to challenge her. Jemma simply nodded tearfully and hugged both of them. 

Unlike the flight to Fiona’s, the flight to Glasgow was long. But their first class seats were room, and there was champagne and free movies, so they made do. Somehow. Then after the flight was a 2 hour drive, which Leo drove all of with Jemma asleep in the passenger seat, because this was his surprise to both of them. 

“Here we are.” he said smoothly as he pulled the rental car into a small driveway. Fiona was smiling cheekily in the backseat as Jemma rubbed her eyes, pulling out of sleep. 

“Leo?”

“It’s my surprise to both of you. Some time away for mum in Scotland, and the most fairytale looking cottage in Scotland for you.” he smiled at her, adoring and sheepish, and Jemma beamed, throwing the door open. 

“It’s lovely!” she shouted, throwing her arms out. And it was. All stone and wood and ivy and flowers along the cobbled walk, and a red, round topped door, and plenty of windows, including a rather impressive round bay window with a window seat on the other side of the cottage, looking over the lake. He patted his bag again, ignoring a rather knowing look from his mother, and walked over to Jemma, looping his arms around her waist and leaning his chin on her shoulder. 

“You’re a darling.” she whispered. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, you silly fool.” she spun herself around and kissed him, until it seemed improper to continue, and then simply watched and held her things as Leo opened the door. 

The cottage was, if possible, even lovelier on the inside. The rooms alternated between rich hardwood and plush dark red carpeting, the furniture was well kept but lovingly warm and all warm reds and neutrals. Light from over the water twinkled through the wide windowed doors of the open air kitchen that lead out to a small stone patio with wicker furniture and even more flowers. 

Leo had even had the forethought to have the kitchen stocked beforehand, so that night the three of them made a wonderful and elaborate dinner together, complete with home baked desserts, just like old times. Not even the growing jetlag could stop them from a lengthy meal on the patio, sipping coffee and then tea and eating slowly and luxuriously, until finally Fiona was the first to call it a night. She winked at Leo and Jemma, patting her son on the back before she left. This puzzled Jemma slightly, but she let it pass, choosing to simply tug Leo over to a padded chaise lounge and cuddle into him while she watched the water. 

It was so peaceful. Maybe the most peaceful she had ever felt. The stars shone bright and numerous in the dark purple sky, reflecting their light and the moon’s on the slowly rolling waters of the lake. In turn, the lake lapped at the shore, rhythmic and quiet. Behind her back, Leo’s chest rose and fell, warm and sturdy as ever, and his arms lay around her middle, his fingers tangled with hers. Just as she was starting to doze off, lulled into a pleasant haze by the idyllic circumstances, Leo tapped her shoulder gently. 

“Jemma love. Sit up for a moment, will you?”

“Mmm?” she mumbled sleepily, even as she pulled herself upright and crossed her legs. For a moment, Leo forgot how to breathe, and not for the first time. Her eyes were heavy lidded with sleep, and her hair was falling out of a messy, curly bun. She’d pulled his jumper on against the evening chill, and it slipped just barely off one shoulder. The moonlight was just bright enough for him to see her freckles and the honey color of her eyes, and the pink of her lips in that sleepy little half smile he loved so dearly he wished he could bottle it. 

Snapping out of it, he pulled himself into the same position, scooting forward until their knees and foreheads touched. It was a familiar position, one they’d sat in countless times in all the many years they’d known each other. 

“I love you.” Jemma murmured, voice soft and dreamy. “I love you so much.” and she did, and he looked especially loveable, curls glowing golden with the light from the kitchen seeping out behind him, long lashes making spidery shadows on his cheeks. 

“I love you too, Jemma.”

“Why’d you make me sit up?”

“I have something for you.” he smiled shyly, and ducked down a moment, pulling something from underneath the chaise. 

“But Leo… it’s not even a holiday, and you’ve already done so much. This is lovely.”

“I know but…. This is something I’ve wanted to do for a bit now, and while this trip is for my mum, it’s for us too, and I chose this place mostly because it was right for… this.” 

Jemma sat up slightly, feeling more awake. Being the alert and detail oriented person she was, she had a distinct feeling she knew where this conversation was headed. Because well, they’d talked about it of course. Sure, they were young, but it was something they knew they were likely to do eventually. And, admittedly, Jemma did like the idea of being an official part of a family again, although Fiona would have had a fit if she’d heard her say that. For a moment, she panicked internally, thinking it was too soon, but after a split second, she realized it really wasn’t. This didn’t mean they had to walk down the aisle the next day. It was just… a promise. And Leo had never made Jemma a promise he didn’t keep or that she didn’t treasure. 

“My mum slipped this into my bags when we left last time we were here for Christmas. I didn’t actually notice it for about a month, because well, it took me that long to actually unpack.” Leo looked sheepish again, and Jemma rolled her eyes. “Now now, I’m trying to make a speech Jems, don’t roll your eyes at me.” 

“You were saying?”

“Anyway, yeah, so mum slipped something into my bag. And so when I found it and called her about it, she said it had been my grandmother’s, but she thought I might need it more than she did. Now, you never met my grandparents, which is a tragedy, because they were wonderful people. And they were married for nearly seventy years. They met when they were kids.”

“Just like us.” Jemma breathed with a small smile.

“Yeah, about the same age, actually. Funny how things happen. But anyway, they were married for nearly seventy years, and I figure that must mean this is pretty good luck.”

Leo pulled the box he’d been fiddling with open, and Jemma let out a small gasp. Inside, nestled in white satin, was a white gold ring set with diamonds and rubies, in custom engraved settings that looked like roses. 

“Oh, Leo…” 

“I want you to know that… that I don’t mean we have to do this soon. Or at all, if you don’t want to. But I love you, Jemma Simmons, more than anything in the whole world, and I very much plan to spend the rest of my life with you, married or not, if you’ll have me.” he pulled the ring from the box, holding it out carefully, and Jemma nodded, tearful, and held out her hand. 

“Yes, Leo. Yes to everything.” she whispered, all her strength on the last word, before pulling him in for a searing kiss. 

In the kitchen, Fiona smirked to herself, glad she thought to leave the porchlight on, or she wouldn’t have been able to sneak any photos without the flash on. 

When Leo and Jemma came down to the kitchen for breakfast in the morning, Fiona was already awake with coffee and an elaborate breakfast spread complete with strawberry Belgian waffles, and Jemma and Leo were positively glowing. 

“So.” Fiona said with a grin, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter. 

“So.” Leo repeated, just as Jemma held her hand out and let out a quiet but exuberant 

“We’re engaged!”

“I saw.” Fiona said matter of factly. Jemma and Fitz balked. 

“Oh please you two, Leo has been patting his bag for days now, and I’m the one who let him have the ring, and somebody had to document the love story of the century.” Her grin softened after that, and she opened her arms. “I’m so happy for you two. Really.” 

“I’m happy for us too.” Jemma said quietly, eyes tearing for what felt like the millionth time in the past three days. “All of us.” 

“One big happy family.” Leo nodded in reply, looking from his mum to his best friend turned girlfriend turned fiance, the person for whom none of those words would ever really, truly be enough. 

“Come on, lovebirds. Let’s eat.” 

And they did. They had breakfast on the patio, the sun sparkling over the water, while the day slowly warmed and the world around them came alive. Jemma pulled her chair as close as she could to Leo’s leaning her head on his shoulder and letting the pure warmth and contentment she felt fill her chest to bursting. 

One big happy family, she thought to herself, watching the sunlight make the gems in her ring dance on the tabletop as she reached for Leo’s hand, the most perfect family she could ever ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is folks! The last chapter! Technically it's an epilogue, but it was long and eventful, so I hope that makes the wait at least a little worth it. While it may have taken me over a year to write these mere 12 chapters, I have truly, truly loved this fic, and I hope at least a few of you have too!

**Author's Note:**

> And here it is! A new multichapter childhood friends Fitzsimmons au from me (I know, I know. It's shocking). I've already started the next bit, so hopefully chapters will move along speedily! Feedback is always lovely <3


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